(Strategically) In Love

Glasses (Forever 21), Sweatshirt (Arc Thrift Store), Pants (hemmed, Salvation army), Shoes (some shoe store in Orchard mall, heh)


Thought of the day:
I came across these letters I wrote a while back, and they were legitimate LOVE LETTERS! You could only imagine the horror that rushed over me when I started to read every cheesy, cliche word that had actually come from my very own stream of conscienceness. At first I wanted to scream, because yes, I actually remember sending these letters too (all FOUR PAGES), but then I realized, that after 2 years, I have truly suppressed my own hopes for romance and happy endings. I always kinda thought I grew up a pessimist, maybe it was because I had a world class cynic as a sister, or hard-disciplining realists as parents, but it wasn't until I came across such letters that I realized just how much of a romantic I am, or well, had been. I mean, I guess I always knew I had it in me, but embracing it seemed like such a bold move, and there it was, typed proof that embracing it was exactly what I had done. I could blame my naivity or age at that time but the more I thought about it, the less I wanted to make excuses. I think it surprisingly relieves me to know that at one point or another I was willing to let myself fall head over heels infatuated with someone. At the end, I actually said I love you too! It was as if I thought I was in The Notebook writing a letter to Ryan Gosling.
I won't delete those letters in disgust or embarrassment, but instead I'll keep them saved, in my "Guilty Pleasures" folder, if such a folder existed. Because it reminds me that once upon a time I was okay with being a little reckless when it came to falling for someone. And it reminds me that I'm capable of putting myself out there and hoping for the best instead of expecting the worst. And maybe one day I won't feel like I have to act so restrained, maybe one day I can picture myself telling someone I love him without cringing, maybe one day I'll write another love letter and send it again.