Being vulnerable isn't going to get you the most attention, needing attention is going to get you the most attention. Huh, fancy that. But the things is, I don't need people in my life to kiss my ass, I just want them to see that I'm not perfect--that I say and do stupid things--yet they still respect me regardless. I might make a fool out of myself sometimes but I'm not afraid to be a little rough around the edges. It's hard to try to be on your own. I don't depend on other people to make me feel better about myself. I'm not always searching for a relationship because I constantly need someone else to provide me security. But that independence can also be scary and isolated. I'm not a strong person. I'm just trying to be. And in the midst of trying to be so self-efficient, I've forgotten how much I need someone there to stand up for me.
I'm really the one to blame, before I've always been too proud to say it, but here it goes,
I can't do everything on my own. It's a hard thing to try and do, you know, using your own shoulder to cry on--really strains the neck.
