All I want for Christmas

Here we are again. Another Christmas. I never really got the point, I can't even remember if I ever believed in Santa. I just remember being little and how I couldn't watch TV for more than 5 minutes without seeing reindeer jumping around and a hairy fat man wearing a red suit take up the whole screen. Commercials selling shampoo during the holidays somehow found a way to relate buying hair products with the spirit of Christmas. Don't you want a head dandruff free for the holidays! Yes, thank you, I'd like a dandruff-free head for any day of the year actually. I also remember how many times people would tell me "Tis the season!" "The season of giving!" yet all I ever knew was to be selfish on Christmas. How much money I could spend on myself during Christmas on top of how many presents I would get from my family and friends. I couldn't even get my parents the proper gifts cause who wants to be given a present that some one spent your own money to buy. If there was ever an award for single-handedly corrupting Christmas I'd definitely be on the nominee list.

But this year, it feels different. Maybe it's because I've grown out of my greedy little girl pants, maybe it's because I've got a job where I actually earn my own money, maybe it's because all those little things, how much more money my parents might have spent on my sister, how many Christmas parties I was invited too, if I had someone to kiss under the mistletoe, doesn't matter anymore.
This is the last Christmas where I'm celebrating in a home that will really feel like home. And I'm spending every minute I can with the people who evidently has spent their time with me since the beginning and have chosen to spend the rest of their time till the end. For once I feel like I'm on a vacation without being on a vacation. A little disconnected from everything and everyone who is in my little social bubble.
And it's really nice.
I feel like now a days my generation is so caught up in being "in-the-know," being a socialite, having the most wall posts on facebook, making sure their entire life and every moment of that life is documented into cyber space. It's even quite possible that some of the Christmas parties in high school are hosted just so we can all get together and take pictures of how cool we are in our "ugly" Christmas sweaters....nahh.

I realized how much so many of us obsess over how we're not going to be alone, and making sure were not going to be alone with the right people. Like were not content enough being on our own but content enough to pick and choose our company; neglecting the people who are genuinely a part of our life and infatuated with those who are convenient....and temporary. And for once, I don't have to be caught up in all the backwardness, all the greed for popularity and status, all the irresponsibility of people's feelings and relationships.
It's good to be with family and enjoying the comfort and simplicity of home, and that's all I want this Christmas. (Ooh. Facebook status right there.)

:)
Merry Christmas everyone.

Material World

Fashion and photography inspiration. LEz go.

Sitting Comfortable

We always blame life for getting in the way, but did we ever think it could be us?

Things like society and your circle of friends and family. They don't deserve all that credit. Did it ever occur to us that maybe we just...have a choice?

There isn't a gene engrained in our genome that says who ever "they" say we're gonna be, that's who we'll be.

So who am I? Who do I choose to be?

I suppose it simply depends on one's definition of the overly used pronoun.

Sometimes I think I'm the girl who sees her life playing on the reel of a Sundance Festival indie movie (the ones that are really romantic and sentimental, yet clever and satirical at the same time so you feel cool when you're watching it). But the one thing that indie romance movies and the ones that Jennifer Anniston stars in have in common is that in the end, the girl always wins... And you know it's a lot of bullshit, okay. What's also a lot of bullshit is I keep watching it anyways, a little part of me believing that a little part of that movie will actually happen in real life--preferably to me. So the scene when the boy chases after me because he cares, I actually picture that translating from the plot of a cliche hollywood movie into my not-so-cliche-hollywood-movie life. Yeah I know, I set myself up for a let down. Whatever okay?

Sometimes I think it's the girl who waits for things that she knows will never happen to happen...she knows this because of evidence previously gathered based on trial and error. She's done her research on these things, don't even worry.

And then sometimes I think it's the girl who looks down on people for believing the extraordinary can happen to them. The girl who listens to her parents when they say she's never gonna be anything but a corporate girl who sucks up to her boss because no matter how miserable she is, she's not quite miserable enough to lose her job over her dignity (or lack there of). She's the girl who would kick romantic indie girl's ass.

But then I realized, why do I have to label who I am? Why do we always have to feel like we know everything about ourselves? I realized 68% of the stress I go through is me personally inflicting it upon myself. I know who I am, I do. But I don't have to justify it, or make sense out of it. I don't have to explain it or even put it in words.

A shooting star caught my eye as I was driving home from work tonight and I scrambled to make a wish. But every single time I thought of something I would take it back, until the point when my mind just stopped making up bullshit wishes and said, straight up, the most sensible thing it's ever said...

I don't want anything to change.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is sensational.

....Not to mention just a phase that will probably go away in the next 24 hours.

But just... savor the moment with me all you out there. Savor the moment.

Gone Rogue