For Real

I wonder if it's true. When they said I was meant to be something, when they said I have a means to an end. Or am I just another brain, a brain with a head, a head with a body, a body with a name, wandering.

Are we all just inanimate objects taking up space, or do we find a purpose. One that connects us to a higher force, one that connects us to each other.

I wonder if I just floated to you. If we gravitated. Or someone was placing us like pawns on a chess board. How did the people in my life, you know, get there? And was it all a coincidence or can fate take some kind of credit? It seems like as human beings we're always finding a way to be free from what binds us to fear and the unknown. And to a certain degree I imagine life is all a game until I reach about 25. Like I am fooling myself to believe in grown-up things like love and self-discovery.

When you're young, how do you know what's real, and what isn't?

I don't get out much, but when I do some times I find myself getting outside of my own head only to find the "real world" is just like another reality TV show. If I didn't feel like I had stepped into an episode of Laguna Beach, it was Jersey Shore. And it's the girls that I don't understand. At times I'll meet other girls and forget that they're even real. Like if they had REAL qualities and hobbies that don't involve gossiping or partying all the time.

The Point:

By the time we're old enough to care about others' perceptions of ourselves we will second guess every thing we do. And wonder if we are getting it right; always searching for the right person to be in our lives before they pass us by.

Either we'll look for someone to fit a impossibly perfect mold, or settle for less just so we can feel a little less lonely the next day. We'll either play hard to get, or be just plain easy. We're either too stubborn or too willing to compromise ourselves to find companionship.

The question is not what type of girls are most guys into, or, for guys, what attracts the most girls. Because at the end of the day, I don't think girls need the majority of the male population to be at her doorstep, and no guy plans to have 4 different girlfriends at the same time.

I only need one person. One person who can make me laugh when I'm on another one of my hot-headed rants, and one person who can love me even when he knows I'm a little bit weird because he's a little bit weird too.

I don't know if I believe in fate, but if it does exist I'm not about to fabricate myself to piss it off. As long as I stay true to myself, whatever happens, I know it'll be authentic. And that'd be more than enough for me.